The next stage - is what, exactly?

Have reached that stage of life where friends and contemporaries are busy moving on to next stage. This seems to mostly comprise one or more of the following:

- Getting married and moving to different, shinier city. 

- Getting married and moving to different, shinier apartment. 

- Dating someone with the intention of getting married (once a respectable amount of time has passed so friends and family cannot mutter, "Oh, but they rushed into it, didn't they," if all goes to hell) and moving somewhere. 

- Producing child 

- Adopting a dog (or cat, if adopter is underachiever/free spirit) 

- Promotion at work (ultimate step seeming to be "Director of" regardless of field of work) 

These are supplemented by one or more of the following activities:

- Giving up cigarettes and developing mysterious allergy to all cigarette smoke 

- Reducing alcohol consumption to the odd glass of wine every few weeks 

- Growing veritable jungles in small balconies 

- Too much Netflix 

- Hours of frank (and often tedious) discussion of what growth is, the various factors that prevented growth in the past, the corrective measures taken to aid faster-growing of, er, growth. 

Etc.

That's their stage, what about mine? 

- Am thirty-three years old and living in spacious flat in Bangalore, neither new nor shiny but perfectly adequate 

- Happy in my job, making enough money for my requirements, able to work from anywhere: the sort of work that could easily see me through the rest of my life, but it does not have "promotions" so cannot work towards being Director of anything. 

- Not married, but due to long-standing commitment issues, have never wanted to be married, which actually makes things tricky: if wanted a husband, could set up goal sheet on how to get one, take required steps, etc: all activities that would keep me busy for the next couple of years. 

- No desire for children otherwise could do something similar regarding adoption. 

- Still scarred from death of my last dog sixteen years previously, so no desire to get another dog; also, who will look after dog if I travel? (Allergic to cats.) 

Anyway, in July, took stock of daily routine. On average looked like this: 

- Rolling out of bed and half-heartedly attempted invigorating workout 

- Getting back into bed and wondering whether I should buy a new pair of jeans 

- Scrolling through phone to find perfect pair of jeans, adding them to various carts, deciding waste of money, and putting phone down. 

- Realising time and rushing to kitchen, throwing aside breakfast plans of poached egg and avocado on toast for hasty bowl of fruit. Coffee. 

- Texting friends for catch-up later in the evening.

- Showering and settling down to work. 

- Work.

- Nap. 

- Adding more jeans to carts, deciding waste of money, etc. 

- Work. 

- Texting friends that am caught up with work and cannot meet though the truth is, I just can't bear the thought of dealing with Bangalore traffic.

- Picking up an "improving book" to read. 

- "Improving book" too boring, switch to Netflix instead. Also boring. Turning cupboards inside out looking for stuff to smoke to make life less boring, but not finding any (unsurprising because stopped smoking regularly a while ago but continue to hope miracle will come my way). By the time this is done, am exhausted, crawl into the shower, and then re-read Jane Austens and Agatha Christies until I fall asleep. 

My activities include:

- Cycling (Own a cycle that has been languishing in garage for three years and can no longer be safely ridden, also have forgotten the lock combination code, but always intend to get it fixed so cycling remains on list of activities year after year)

- Painting (Once every three months)

- One crazy night out a month (Meet same friend, or group of friends, for one night of heavy drinking, occasional drugs, crawl into bed vowing never again) 

- Two semi-crazy nights out a month (Meet friend, or group of friends, for one night of heavyish drinking, usually no drugs)

- One Minnie-night (Solemnly go over to Minnie's house, pet her dog while she places food in front of me, eat all the food, solemnly return home, feeling wholesome and adult-ish until end up vomiting in toilet at 3 am from eating too much.) 

Anyway, point is, realise I need a change but using my friends' lives as a reference point, decide that is not necessarily the life I want. What life do I want? What is the next stage? No idea.

Have meltdown and return to Calcutta (home) for a month so have someone (i.e. my mother) to take my frustrations out on comfort me while I take stock of what I want Next Stage of Life to be, and how to get to Next Stage once I know what it is. 

Also, sick to death of Bangalore traffic.